Part 9: 29th March – Quatre Bornes

Wednesday 29^th March

Quatre Bornes. The main high street.

I went to Quatre Bornes today by bus. If cosmologists are still looking for evidence that quantum physics applies both to microscopic and macroscopic worlds they would find living proof of it here. At any given instant, buses in Mauritius exist in one of three quantum states:

1. Stopped;

2. Break-neck;

3. Positively Suicidal.

Intermediate states are no permitted, and transitions between the three occur instantaneously. The lowest-energy, or “ground”, state corresponds with that having the highest entropy, or maximum probability of occurring spontaneously. You may be surprised to learn that this is in fact State-3. The highest-energy, and thus least-populated, state is State-1.

State-3 is triggered when one quantum “particle” (ie bus) senses its quantum twin (another bus approaching from the opposite direction) about to enter State-3. This constitutes, in effect, a kind of “quantum entanglement” characterised by both twins being simultaneously in the act of overtaking a lesser “particle” (ie any other vehicle) at a closing velocity corresponding to that of State-2 multiplied by two.

Many of the roads around here feature what would be gentle undulations - at near-sane velocities. The frequent (about one per 100m) presence of traffic-calming devices, otherwise known as “speed humps” (and therefore regarded by drivers as an open invitation) adds tremendously to the exhilaration and adrenaline-pumping nature of the ride.

We orbited one roundabout at such a lick I was convinced the bloody thing would keel over. And to think that these veterans were (by all appearances at any rate) built at the same time the laws of quantum mechanics themselves were being formulated.

The buses also obey the laws of meta-physics, incidentally. In this universe it is not the speed of light that is constant, but the journey-time between any two given locations on the island. To me this is a paradox in more than one sense. No two places can be more than about 50 miles apart. In fact, the distance between Flic en Flac to Quatre Bornes is, I would guess, about 10km; yet it still takes the best part of an hour. How can this be, given that we almost always occupy quantum states 2 & 3?

According to LPG, the bus drivers on Mauritius “… harbour Formula One racing fantasies.” Who am I to argue?

Despite all this, we arrive in QB intact. It’s early-to-mid-morning

(you’ve got to remember I’ve been up since dark), and the sun is shining, etc, etc.

I step off the bus and “Taxi, Monsieur?” WHAT IS THIS WITH TAXIS? If I could afford a taxi why in heaven’s name would I have just arrived by bus? Hmm?

I spotted the Orchard Centre just before we pulled in at the bus station, so it was practically no distance at all. The OC is a little like a Mauritian Arndale Centre but without the public-toilet-style cladding; and altogether more up-market.

I was advised by Mme Casa Pizza to locate “Infokeens”. This is a telecom/IT outfit, and I should be able to purchase a SIM card there. Despite the “Closed” sign on the (shut) door I was waved in. They didn’t have any. But they very kindly directed me to the neighbouring “Mauritel” place. There was a “Closed” sign on the (shut) door. I was waved in. What’s with all this, I wonder? It’s a

tropical country. Surely all businesses are open and bustling before the sun comes up? Anyway, the good news is they have one. So now I am “en-mobiled” for Mauritius. That will make life a whole lot easier in all sorts of ways, I can tell you.

Today is fruit ‘n’ veg market day in QB.

From the main street it looks relatively small. It isn’t. It extends back for many hundreds of metres. They sell everything you can imagine there. As well as a few things you’d probably rather not. (I don’t think I ever actually caught wind of a durian. I’m not sure I’d recognise one even if I saw it.)

As a token gesture I decided to buy some Chinese guavas. Yes, I know, Pravin & I picked loads of them from the roadside on Sunday. But they returned in his car to the university for all I know. I think he’d meant to give the bag to me but we both forgot. Not to fret, because these ones in the market are cheap enough. The lady offered to put “salt” on them for me. I said I’d take them home and put them in the fridge, so she placed a little pile of this substance in a piece of paper for me to take with me.

I walked around QB for a while before boarding a bus back to FeF.

Now here’s a little test: which side of the bus do you think the sun will be shining on?

On the way back I was frequently reminded of how unintentionally (one assumes) amusing other cultures can be. I caught my favourite landmark on camera, just to prove to you I didn’t make it up before:

And then, a little further on, one I had completely missed previously:

Quite apart from the mis-spelling, the mind boggles!

We make it back OK, and again I’m amazed. Different driver. Same tendencies.

After lunch (the last of the Fromage Roux with – to be different – a hamburger bun), I tried a few of the guavas. First without the “salt”. They are quite tart, and not unlike strawberries in flavour. Then I tried one with. The mixture does indeed contain salt. What the vendor didn’t mention was the pepper and chilli powder! An interesting experience. Perhaps not one to be repeated, however.

Well it is still a nice day and, at just after 3 pm, still plenty of time for a swim. Went to the beach for it. With goggles on I could make out a few small fish. Afterwards, I sat on my towel for my first serious sunbathe of the trip. (OK, so it was already gone 5 pm, but I have delicate skin). There were some of those very entertaining little crabs that sidle ever so gingerly, keeping their beady eyes-on-stalks trained on you. As soon as they think you’re not looking: “plop!” they disappear into a neat hole in the sand that I swear wasn’t there two seconds earlier.

Ran out of mosquito spray again, so decided to buy some more, as well as a replacement bulb for one that popped yesterday, on my way to dinner.

I bumped into the family with the oriental girl. The ones that had sat at the next table last night. We had a brief chat. I was right – her husband is working here, and has been for a few monthe. She and the girl just arrived yesterday so have to get accustomed to the heat. I was also right about another thing: they are from Glasgow. Mum had been badly bitten last evening at “Casa Pizza” so had been to the pharmacy for some remedies. It is uncanny, but I can’t suppress the feeling that we have met somewhere before – and not just last night. If I see them again, which is quite likely, I may voice my curiosity.

For a total change I went back to the Bois Noir this evening. Had Rhum Arrangé with bits in. The first one like that. One of my email correspondents reckons I will have drunk the island dry of rum by the time I leave. Well, I can always have a damned good try!

Main course was fish in ginger with plain boiled rice and for dessert “Bananes Flambées” – and there were actually two this time. Espresso to finish.

That’s about it for today. Apart from the fact that I already have some text messages. Replies to ones I’d sent earlier. So the mobile is working fine. (And before you ask: no, it is not set for the Nokia Tune!).